The Insanity of the Mauraders and Others
by SiriuslyLunar
Summary: The Mauraders (minus Peter) return for their sixth year at Higwarts, and insanity abounds! NOT A SUE! No, no, no!


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Dis.: 

Lin: ME OWN HP! ALL OF IT!

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Athena: No, you don't.

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Sirius: Fine, I'll do the Disclaimer. :chants dully: Lin and Athena do not own HP. They also do not own Care Bears, Teletubbies, or the name Arandil, which is property of JRR Tolkien, more commonly known as The Great One.

Rating: PG, for now…Mwahahaha!

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NOTE: Insanity abounds. You have been warned. 

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NOTE: Not a Sue…

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NOTE: Peter Pettigrew is mysteriously absent…Let's pretend that he transferred schools, alright? :grins:

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When The Marauders Meet the Trio

PART 1

"Oy, Potter! You're owl's gone mad!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius, little more specific?" James called from the almost empty common room.

"Yeah, uh, your blinking owl's eating all my stuff. Now he's moving on to Remus' books. The really old ones," Sirius added mischievously. 

In the bathroom, Remus dropped his toothbrush. "James, if your owl's eaten my copy of Arithmancy For the Advanced, I'll get Sirius to eat all you chocolate!"

James thundered up the stairs. "CHOCOLATE! I'll save you!!!"

Sirius had busied himself with slapping the owl in question. "Back, you flying dust bag!"

Both Remus and James forgot about their chocolate and books when they caught sight of the object Sirius was beating the owl with.

"Siri, mate, what's up with the…er…the bear?" James grinned. Sirius would never be allowed to live this down.

"Oh, be quiet, you've got a…a…" Sirius faltered.

"Mate, admit it, you're the only one who sleeps with a purple teddy bear. You're fifteen, for God's sake." James admonished mockingly.

Remus just stared, his jaw dropping to his Weird Sisters T-shirt. He recognized that purple bear…

"Care Bears?" he gasped. Then he fainted.

Sirius took advantage of the distraction to stuff the bear into his trunk. Then he rushed over to the fallen Remus.

James slapped Remus gently. "Moony? C'mon, it's ok…"

Then Sirius guessed the cause of Remus' sudden collapse. The Care Bear…

"Oy, Rems, the Care Bear's gone. He's gone." Sirius whispered. James just stared, confused. But Sirius' whispered statement did the trick.

"…no…Care Bear?" Remus gasped as he came back into consciousness.

Sirius shook his head. "Nope. All gone."

"Good…" Remus moved shakily to James' bed.

"Uhh, clue me in. I'd like to get back to my…er, my homework." James tapped his foot impatiently.

"James, that's not homework and you know it. If it was homework, you'd be up here copying off Remus' paper. It's probably Quidditch plays," Sirius glared.

Remus sighed dramatically. "Must I?"

"Yes, of course. I've got things to do!" Sirius growled.

"Well, it all started when I was a child…" Remus started.

"Whoa. Been there, seen that, made the movie. Cut to the chase, if you'll pardon the cliché," James interrupted. "We're not interested in family history." Sirius' comment had made him slightly testy.

"I was!" Sirius protested.

"Oh, you're just trying to stall me from finding out why you've got a…" he hesitated as Remus flinched. "A, erm, bear." 

Sirius glared. "I really was, you idiot."

Remus decided to cut in. "Alright…Basically, my little sister was obsessed with them. She had…uhh…Care Bear everything." He shuddered. "Anyway, she made me like them. Can't stand them now, obviously. But, c'mon, we've got to go to bed. I'll tell you more some other day."

Sirius suddenly remembered the owl. "James, your owl. Get it out!"

James laughed. "Siri, mate, my owl's in the Owlery by now. Get a grip; I sent him away ages ago."

"Oh," Sirius thought. "But what about my stuff?" 

"Well, what do you want me to do about it? Knit it back together?" James grinned playfully.

"Yeah, that'd be nice," Sirius replied honestly.

A pillow flew through the air and smacked Sirius in the chest. It continued to beat Sirius.

"James…when…I...get away…" Sirius spluttered out his threat.

"Can it," Remus called from the bathroom. "I'll give you two Detention."

"Aww, the ickle Prefect needs his beauty rest?" James snickered.

"Oh, grow up, James!" Remus replied lazily.

"Yeah, Jamsie, grow up!" Sirius said grinningly. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the pillow resumed its feathery beating.

"Sirius, stop beating yourself with a pillow! It's not fair to the pillow," James reprimanded innocently. "What did the pillow ever do to deserve that kind of punishment?"

Sirius' free hand groped to find an extra pillow. As soon as he found one, he chucked it at the laughing James.

Remus came out from the bathroom. He waved his wand and the various lights flickered out. "C'mon, guys, McGonagall'll be on us if you don't hush."

Sirius sighed. "Yes, Master Prefect. 'Night, guys."

James grinned in the darkness. "'Night Pighead. 'Night O Perfect Prefect."

Sirius grunted in his sleep, but James' comment went unheard. Remus smiled in the night.

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Lin: Do ya like it? Press purple button and make me giggle! Chocolate to all Reviewers! :giggles:

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Athena: Lin, you don't have any chocolate. Be quiet.

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Remus: What Lin's trying to say is that she'd like you to review! :watches Athena chase Lin around with a banana: Remind me to hide James' chocolate someplace where Lin won't find it…Same thing for Athena, looks like she's a bit hyper, too…

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James: Remus, touch my chocolate and die!

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Sirius: Grow up!

:James chases Sirius around with a banana:

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Remus: Oh dear…:sighs: Remember to review!


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